Questions Are The Way To Answers

Why are people so afraid to ask questions?  Is it because they don’t know the questions to ask, don’t want to hear the answers, or are reluctant to question people with expertise they may not have?

This isn’t being posed as something simply to consider, but is being directed to one particular group of people — working parents.  Not just any working parents, but those who have children who are struggling in some way and are receiving any type of services to support their needs.  While many working parents are truly desperate for knowledge, many are reluctant to open the door to access answers.  But before you say, “Hey…I ask plenty of questions,” allow me to elaborate.

With the new school year well underway, parents are already up to their necks in challenges particularly if they have a child with, for example, autism or a learning disability.  They are struggling to figure out what to do (i.e. what interventions or therapies are appropriate), who should do it (i.e. should they push for these services in school or secure them privately), and how to balance these ongoing needs with their other responsibilities (e.g. their workplace job and managing their families).  It’s a boatload of pressure any way you slice it.

But here’s where the “questions” issue comes to a head.  Parents are reluctant to ask the psychologist who just completed their child’s testing to explain the results in “lay language” that the parents can understand.  They are reluctant to ask the tutor to show them exactly what skills are being addressed, to ask their child’s teacher for data to support progress, and to ask the school district staff sitting around the table at their child’s IEP meeting to repeat things that are unclear or are not making sense.  Questions are not asked when answers are needed most.  Often times, it’s because parents see these people as “the experts,” therefore it would be — fill-in-the-blank — wrong, disrespectful, insulting, etc. to question them.  But isn’t this precisely how we learn?  By questioning people who may have insights we do not?  Yet what’s truly puzzling is this — if you take a similar scenario into the business arena, questions abound and the hesitation to ask is minimal.

I’d like to suggest that working parents take a new approach to their children and begin to view things like business.  In other words, ask yourself whether you’re getting a return on your investment.  The goal is to determine whether your time (often hours away from the office or reducing your work schedule) and resources (often tapping into savings or borrowing from family) are yielding positive results.  How do you know?  Questions and answers.

Working parents are mired in a “life mural” that requires unmatched work/life balance strategies.  This is particularly true when there is a child with special needs in their lives. So many parents find themselves overwhelmed yet fail to utilize the same strategies that they use in their jobs to manage their child’s needs.  Asking questions (even of “the experts”) and getting answers.  This approach yields powerful results … and isn’t this exactly what you’re looking for?

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